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Miscellaneous Oxymora QuotationsThe following are phrases and various quotes which appear to be oxymoronic. 
A little pain never hurt anyone.“A unified, neutral Germany? Given that nation’s heritage, such a phrase
may prove to be the oxymoron of the decade.” -Kevin M. Matarese, Fulda, West
Germany; as seen in “Letters”, Time magazine, p. 5, March 5,
1990.A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. Include me out.
-Samuel GoldwynChrist was born in 4 B.C.Cum tacent, clamant. When they are silent, they shout. -CiceroGentlemen, I want you to know that I am not always right, but I am never wrong.
-Samuel GoldwynGoes (Went) over like a lead balloon.Honk if you are against noise pollution!I’ll give you a definite maybe. -Samuel GoldwynI’m not going to say, “I told you so.”I am a deeply superficial person. -Andy WarholI’m proud of my humility.I can resist everything but temptation. -Mark TwainIf Roosevelt were alive, he’d turn over in his grave. -Samuel GoldwynIf I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive! -Samuel
GoldwynIf you fall and break your legs, don’t come running to me. -Samuel GoldwynI never put on a pair of shoes until I’ve worn them five years. -Samuel
GoldwynIt isn’t an optical illusion. It just looks like one.It’s more than magnificent-it’s mediocre. -Samuel GoldwynMay I ask a question?No one goes to that restaurant anymore-it’s always too crowded. (attributed to
Yogi Berra)Our comedies are not to be laughed at. -Samuel GoldwynParting is such sweet sorrow. -William ShakespeareProcrastination means never having to say you’re sorry.“Professional certification for car people may sound like an oxymoron.”
-The Wall Street Journal, page B1, Tuesday, July 17, 1990.Referring to a book: I read part of it all the way through. -Samuel GoldwynSmoking is the leading cause of statistics.Some bachelors want a meaningful overnight relationship.Talking about a piece of movie dialogue: Let’s have some new cliches. -Samuel
GoldwynThe scene is dull. Tell him to put more life into his dying. -Samuel GoldwynThank God I’m an atheist.This report is filled with omissions.We are not anticipating any emergencies.We’re overpaying him, but he’s worth it. -Samuel GoldwynHis honour rooted in dishonour stood,And faith unfaithful kept him falsely true.
 -Alfred Lord Tennyson
The good oxymoron, to define it by a self-illustration, must be a planned
inadvertency. -Wilson FollettAn Irishman is never at peace except when he’s fighting.I marvel at the strength of human weakness.Always be sincere, even when you don’t mean it. -Irene PeterLive within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so. -Josh BillingsOf course I can keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t
keep them. -Anthony Haden-GuestThe best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -W.C. FieldsI distinctly remember forgetting that. -Clara BartonWe must believe in free will. We have no choice. -Isaac B. SingerI’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.Monotheism is a gift from the gods.After they got rid of capital punishment, they had to hang twice as many people as
before.I never liked you, and I always will. -Samuel GoldwynWhy don’t you pair ‘em up in threes? -Yogi BerraOur similarities are different. -Dale Berra, son of YogiAfter Donald Trump’s stretch limousine was stolen and found undamaged a few
blocks away; he said, “Nothing was stolen. I had an honest
thief.”-International Herald Tribune, page 3, March 2, 1992Some bird populations soaring down -Headline of an article in Science
News, page 126, February 20, 1993.Most bacteria have the decency to be microscopic. Epulopiscium fishelsoni is
not among them. The newly identified one-celled macro-microorganism is a full .5 mm long,
large enough to be seen with the naked eye. Described in the current
Nature, “It is a million times as massive as a typical
bacterium.”-Time, page 25, March 29, 1993“Triumph without Victory, The Unreported History of the Persian Gulf
War”, -Headline published in the U.S. News & World Report,
1992.An empty cab drove up and Sarah Bernhardt got out. -Arthur Baer, American comic and
columnistShe used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on. -Arthur Baer,
American comic and columnistThe first condition of immortality is death. -Stanislaw LecAs famous as the unknown soldier.I must follow the people. Am I not their leader? -Benjamin DisraeliHegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn
anything from history. -George Bernard ShawWilliam Safire’s rules for writing as seen in the New York Times
 Do not put statements in the negative form.
 And don’t start sentences with a conjunction.
 If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can
be avoided by rereading and editing.
 Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
 Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
 If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
 Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
 Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
 Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
 Last, but not least, avoid cliche’s like the plague.
 
 
Everyone writes on the walls except me. -Said to be graffiti seen in PompeiiI tripped over a hole that was sticking up out of the ground.I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
-Samuel GoldwynThis page intentionally left blank.Evil isn’t all bad.I disagree with unanimity.“It’s a step forward although there was no progress.”President Hosni Murbarak of Egypt attempting to put the best face on a disappointing
summit meeting between President Clinton and the Syrian dictator Hafez Assad.
“I always avoid prophesying beforehand because it is much better to prophesy
after the event has already taken place. ” - Winston Churchill
 
 
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